15 Ways to Boost Your Sex Drive After 40

It’s not uncommon to go through waves of insatiability and apathy when it comes to your sex life, especially as you age.

In fact, between the fluctuating hormones raging through your body and the everyday life stressors that put sex on the back-burner, you’re bound to experience a loss in libido at some point in your life. If you’re looking for ways to increase and enhance your sex drive, you’re not alone. Especially in men and women over 40, a low sex drive means less of a desire to jump in the sheets.

The good news? A decrease in the desire to get it on is something that can be worked on. Whether it’s making changes in your relationship or working on bettering your overall wellbeing, there are plenty of ways to get back on track and boost your libido. So, try out some of these ways to boost your sex drive after 40 and you’re sure to feel like your old self in no time.

How to increase sex drive:

1. Quit any bad habits.

If you’re still smoking in your 40s, it’s time to stop—not just for your health and overall wellbeing, but also for your sex drive. According to the Mayo Clinic, bad habits like smoking can cause your libido to plummet—so once you ditch the cigarettes for good, you’ll experience a nice boost in the bedroom.

2. Be more open with your partner.

Sitting down and talking about why your sex drive has taken a hit with your partner might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary—especially if you want to get back on track. The Mayo Clinic says communicating in an open, honest way can help you “maintain a stronger emotional connection, which can lead to better sex.”

3. …Especially about your likes and dislikes.

Some couples do the same old thing between the sheets for years, if only because they’re not open about the fact that they’d rather do something else. However, if your sex drive is getting stale, it might finally be time to reevaluate your routine. The Mayo Clinic says that talking about what you like and dislike is super important for your sexual desire, and the simple act of being honest can take your intimacy to a totally new level.

4. Stop stressing so much.

Stress gets in the way of a lot of things. So keeping your cortisol levels to a minimum will keep wellbeing in check, sexual wellbeing included. The Mayo Clinic notes that simply by finding a way to cope with your heightened levels of anxiety, you can increase your libido and get your sex life back on track.

5. Get more sleep.

From keeping stress levels at bay to getting a mood boost, there are plenty of reasons you should always make sure you’re getting enough shut-eye. And when it comes to your sex drive, some sleep can help, too. A 2015 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who got more sleep had higher levels of sexual desire. Specifically, for every extra hour of sleep that a woman got, her odds of engaging in sexual activity increased by 14 percent.

6. Don’t forget about kissing and cuddling.

When you’re feeling frustrated about a low sex drive, it’s easy to try and rush into sex simply to make some magic happen. However, don’t forget about taking time to get cozy: According to an oft-cited 1999 survey from Modern Maturity magazine and the AARP, something as simple as a little kissing and cuddling can strengthen your bond with your partner, especially in those moments when you’re feeling tired or tense.

7. Share household duties.

If you find yourself doing more household chores than your significant other, changing that could benefit your sex drive. In a 2018 study published in Socius: Sociological Research for a Dynamic World, researchers found that sharing household work—particularly the dishes!—was linked to stronger sexual intimacy, boost in sex drive and relationship satisfaction. When you feel more like equals and less like maids, you won’t resent each other or be as stressed, and that translates to more fun between the sheets.

8. Go on vacation.

Here’s a great excuse to finally take that trip to the Bahamas: One 2013 survey from the U.S. Travel Association found that 77 percent of respondents who traveled with their significant other said their sex life was flourishing. Those are some pretty good odds!

9. Get creative.

After a while, it’s easy to get into the same routine every night. However, this monotony isn’t exactly helping out your sex drive. That’s why, to amp things up, the Mayo Clinic suggests getting a little more creative with your partner. Whether you’re switching up the time and location you have sex or trying out new positions, this can give your sex drive a serious boost.

10. And be open-minded about new experiences in the bedroom.

In a 2019 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, researchers found that the more open subjects (and their partners) were to new experiences, the better their sexual encounters were. So set the mood, try new things, do some experimentation together, and, most importantly, keep an open mind.

11. Eat plenty of avocados.

Eating a well-rounded diet is crucial for your health—and your sex life. And if there’s one food you definitely shouldn’t skimp on when it comes to your sex life, it’s avocado. According to the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, the vitamin B6 in this delectable food “might make it easier for women to ‘get in the mood.'” The fruit also has a positive effect on men, seeing as it keeps the heart healthy and this organ, in turn, helps pump blood to the nether region.

12. Nibble on some chocolate.

A piece of chocolate a day keeps the sexual dysfunction away—at least according to a 2006 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The study authors found that those who ate chocolate on a daily basis tended to have higher libidos and better sexual function compared to those who didn’t indulge in the dessert.

13. Eat more citrus fruits.

You know taking in plenty of citrusy fruits is good for your health. What you might not know, though, is that eating these tart treats is also one of the ways to boost your sex drive. A 2002 study published in the journal Biological Psychiatry found that individuals who had high intakes of fruits full of ascorbic acid—ones like oranges and grapefruits—tended to have more (and better!) sex.

14. Have a cup of coffee.

Coffee wakes you up, gives you energy, and boosts your sex drive. A 2015 study published in the journal PLoS One found that men who consumed between 85 and 170 milligrams of caffeine a day were 42 percent less likely to report erectile dysfunction. So grab a cup or two tomorrow morning, then text your partner to come back from work early.

15. Drink some red wine.

Drinking red wine for your libido might sound way too good to be true—and yet, it’s one of the very real ways to boost your sex drive. In a 2009 study of nearly 800 women published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers concluded that a moderate amount of the antioxidant-packed beverage helped increase sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.